


Mean Marines and Lying Heroes

by leoraine



Category: NCIS
Genre: Gen, Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-03-23
Updated: 2011-03-23
Packaged: 2017-10-17 05:40:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,221
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/173490
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/leoraine/pseuds/leoraine
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Tony comes to work with bruises.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Mean Marines and Lying Heroes

**Author's Note:**

> Written for the NCIS LFWS Round 4 Challenge. The prompt word was Deceit.  
> Beta-read by Tania

"Oh, that's just too good," McGee preened as he glanced between the clock and Tony's empty desk. Gibbs was already pissed because the Director announced an impromptu meeting of team leaders in an hour which would take most of the day. Seeing his second in command’s empty desk, Gibbs grit his teeth and walked out of the bullpen, throwing an empty coffee cup in the trash and growling something about getting a new batch.

"Why are you so happy, McGee? If Gibbs is pissed at Tony, we won't be out of the heat either."

"You meant we won't be safe, right?" McGee corrected her with a frown and Ziva just rolled her eyes.

"Who's in heat? Not you, McNagging, I hope," Tony asked, popping out from behind the wall and throwing McGee a disgruntled look. Startled, McGee opened his mouth for some kind of reply, but shut it again and just stared at Tony. Ziva had the same surprised look on her face when Tony flopped down onto his chair, looking as if he had gone ten rounds with Ali. His left eye was purple and swollen, his lip was busted and the way he was handling himself hinted at more bruises under his button up shirt.

"What? No nasty comments about jealous husbands beating me up?" Tony asked after a moment of silence, while the two agents tried to figure out what might've happened.

"You're late. Gibbs went for coffee," McGee stuttered, and then seeing Tony's raised eyebrow, shook himself out of stupor.

"Whose husband beat the crap out of you?" he asked and Tony rolled his eyes, or tried to, before he realized it would hurt. He ended up with a small grimace and a sigh. Ziva was still watching him, cataloging his injuries and trying to figure out what might've caused them.

"Why do you automatically assume I'm stupid enough to get involved with a married woman McGee?" Tony asked reproachfully, a little anger crawling into his voice, his face a mask of hurt.

"Sorry," McGee stuttered, taken aback. "I was just kidding Tony. Are you okay?"

Tony crossed his arms over his chest, looking more than a little offended. The only thing not fitting the image he was trying to portray was the sparkle in his eyes. Ziva's head shot up, a smile suddenly marring her face.

"Oh, you're so easy, McGee," she drawled and leaned back in her chair, basking in the double looks of confusion coming her way.

"What?"

"Can't you see he's just pulling your leg? He's trying to play the sympathy card. I bet he just walked into a door or something," she announced, her own eyes twinkling with silent challenge.

"Hey!" Tony protested. "I'll let you know, I got these injuries during a life threatening situation. I would be dead right now, if it weren't for my quick reflexes and supreme fighting skills."

Ziva snorted, and shook her head. It was clear to McGee that she was baiting Tony, to get the story out of him that much faster. Tony took the bait, because he pulled up a little of his shirt and showed them another set of bruises on his ribs.

"See? These are from someone's fists! They're not from falling off the bed! It was a real, armed guy with military training. I barely left with my life intact."

"Not to mention your pride," McGee muttered and ducked away from a flying pen, ignoring the pointed glare from Tony.

"So what happened? Did you run into some druggie on your way home?" Ziva challenged and Tony considered his reply.

"Well, you might say that. It was a rather grumpy guy, obviously a marine-"

"How can you know?" McGee jumped in.

"I work in NCIS! Do you really think I wouldn't recognize a marine if I saw one?"  
McGee had the grace to look ashamed as he muttered a quiet 'Sorry'.

Tony gave a satisfied nod, and then his eyes clouded as if he was remembering something bad.

"I was on my way to the gym to let out some steam from the last case…" At that all three agents grimaced. The case was a bad one, involving a missing child. They had to deal with an angry Gibbs the whole time, not to mention it was mentally taxing in on itself. By the end of it, they all needed to unwind a little. Ziva herself went for a rather long run, stopping only when she couldn't go further. McGee went for a drink with Abby, and then spent the rest of the night writing, trying to lose himself in an imaginary world. It was expected that Tony would need to relax in some way too. McGee and Ziva would've pegged him more for going to a bar, hooking up with some chick, than to the gym.

"Are you sure you weren't heading for the bar?" McGee asked but shut up upon receiving a warning glare, this time from Ziva.

"Yeah, I'm pretty sure, McAnnoying," Tony snapped. "Do you want to hear it or would you like to figure it out for yourself?"

"Just ignore him," Ziva spoke up. "Go on. What happened?"

"Well, I was in the parking lot, getting my bag out, when there was this angry marine marching toward me. He looked really pissed, and frankly, he looked just a bit on the wild side if you know what I mean." Tony signed the motion of drinking.

"Was he drunk?"

"Nah, he looked more like he was in withdrawal, missing his drink."

"You mean like Gibbs when he doesn't have his coffee?" McGee commented and Ziva saw Tony's eyes sparkle again.

"Exactly," Tony exclaimed with a grin. She frowned, but kept on listening.

"Why was he pissed at you?"

"Well, I might've taken his parking space," Tony muttered, "and then I might've said something not so nice about the tone of his voice."

"So he beat the crap out of you." Ziva finished.

"No!" Tony argued. "I gave as much as I got. I kicked like this," he tried to imitate the motion but stopped with a grimace, “and then I pulled his legs out from under him and put him into a head-lock." Tony was still describing the fight when Gibbs came up behind him, back with a steaming cup of coffee, throwing an amused look at his agent, waiting for him to finish. When Tony noticed him, he stopped abruptly.

"Oh, hey boss, was just telling the team how I-"

"-defeated the mean marine. Yeah, I heard. What say next time we go sparring you put up some protection, or learn how to duck DiNozzo?"

"Wait, what?" McGee yelped in surprise. "That marine with withdrawal was Gibbs?" That got a raised eyebrow from Gibbs and a rather pissed off look from Tony, but he didn't care. "So you were lying your ass off the whole time?" he couldn't hide the disbelief in his voice.

"Nah, it was just a little deception, Probie. You know, gotta train those undercover muscles when I can," Tony said with a shit eating grin, then unsuccessfully tried to duck from an assortment of flying missiles, while Gibbs made himself comfortable in his chair, hiding a grin behind the cup of coffee. Maybe the day wasn't gonna be so bad after all.


End file.
